The cat’s smile, leering down at me. The stars

The sun beats down on the blue paint. The wind rushes past me, pulling my hair out of its bun. My hands stick to the steering wheel, ‘One by One’ playing on the radio. I’ve been driving for hours, the scenery ever-changing yet ever-lasting. As the sun goes down, it sets the world on fire, adorning the clouds with gold and gilding the emerald leaves. However, as beautiful as my surroundings look, there’s always a calm before the storm, a beauty in the chaos. This place may appear perfect but there is something missing… there always will be. My world was stripped of it long ago and now I remain searching, seeking and scouring the world for it; for him.The never-ending road forces me into a reminiscent state. It drives me to remember all the times I spent with him; all the love we had and all the love I lost. I remember how his smile would light up the room, how his eyes would shine with passion but most of all I remember what it was like to hear him play and have it on repeat in my mind for weeks. I truly loved him and now he’s gone; I have to find him.Night falls, the white lines flash as I drive on. I’m getting sleepy but I can’t stop. I’m running out of time. The moon taunts me like the Cheshire cat’s smile, leering down at me. The stars glint sarcastically, mocking me, sneering “You’ll never make it, you’ll never find him.” Yet I refuse to listen, I would rather die than give up. We were chaos, we were beauty, we were insanity, we were perfection. And still, he left or I left, the memory escapes me. Sometimes I see it but trying to grasp it is like grabbing smoke… It’s starting to rain.The sleek coat of asphalt glistens in the rain. More memories play in my mind, crafting stories as my journey drones on. Hours pass by and without fail my scenery remains the same. The clouds now loom, dark and ominously above me. The rain slamming against my car, attempting to pierce its body and slice my skin. The wind pushing it around the road as I struggle to keep the car straight. The cacophony of bitter anarchy drowns out the sound of the world surrounding me. I could die on this road and no-one would know. The tires spin.Nothing. The car remains straight, unmoving. I survived this time but I must not stop. I have a mission. I have a quest. I have one purpose and I must fulfil it. I will not succumb to the will of nature, I will not abide by the laws laid before me. I will carry out the impossible to get what I want.My eyelids droop as if the weight of the world were upon them. The car slowly starts to swerve to the side, I pull into the shoulder and turn off the car. The silence engulfs me. I’m completely drained, maybe if I just take a moment everything will return to normal. I close my eyes and sleep welcomes me. However, it is not a calm or restful kind; my dreams torment me with images of him and a never-ending road. They remind me he is forever out of reach and slowly my mind turns insane trying to reach him, calling out to him. He hears nothing.I awake with a jolt, my vision blurred and the steering wheel cold against my cheek. I lift my head and shake my hair out of my eyes, I should have packed my hairbrush. My legs are stiff and I long to stand and stretch them but it’s dawn, I’ve wasted enough time already. I turn the key, the engine stutters. Nothing. I try again and get the same result. My knuckles turn white as I try again and again and again. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. I slam my hands on the dashboard and feel the sting race through my palms. I get out of the car and slam the door, it’s sound echoing through the desolate terrain. Why is this happening to me! I rip open the boot and pull out my bag. I take out food and tear into it, not realising how ravenous I’d become, starved from driving. Once I’m done eating I sit in the boot. If I wait long enough maybe someone will drive past.2 hours, no-one has driven past. My phone died so I can’t call anyone. I despise myself. How could I have been so stupid… I should have known. This whole journey was pointless. Now I’m stuck here. I guess I should try turning the car on again. Nothing.This is insane. It’s midday. I change out of my tracksuit into a set of ripped shorts and a pink tank top, I remember when he bought me this…We walked into a corner store, it was 39 degrees outside and I had a heavy jacket and thick jeans on, I was baking in them and needed new clothes desperately. He never quite understood why I would wear winter clothes all the time, so he went and bought me a set of faded, vintage shorts and a putrid, hot pink tank top. He wouldn’t let me go outside until I put them on, so I did. He was shocked at first, anyone would be. My skin was a luminescent ivory in the light, patterned with thousands of tiny scars, but he still called me beautiful and held me close. It was the first time I felt hate for him, I could see he pitied me. He pitied the small girl stood before him and I hated that.I hear a noise, distant at first but the growl prowls closer, a light glints in the distance. I step into the middle of the road. There he is… in the driver’s seat…