We don’ts given by Catholic faith, such as don’t

We ask ourselves, who are we, who do we hope to become, and how do we get there? We live with these questions all our lives but some choose to ignore it. From a Christian and Buddhist background, I think about these particular questions on a daily basis and think of ways to better my life for myself and those around me. According to Catholic faith and traditions, we need to avoid all notions of sex until marriage. We must avoid sexual contact with others and ourselves if we want to enter into heaven. In Fullam’s article, “Thou Shalt”, she explains that telos in a sexual ethics point of view does not criticize or approve of the ideas of sex, but instead it tells us to remember that our relationships and sex life require constant work and attention. It takes more than a couple steps to better our lives, so we must work at it constantly and provide as much of our attention to our lives and ourselves. I need to work on taking care of myself before I take care of others. Putting myself first would better my life and help me out in the long run because then I can learn how to keep myself physically and mentally healthy. She also mentions the list of don’ts given by Catholic faith, such as don’t have sex before marriage, don’t masturbate, don’t use contraception when you have sex in marriage, don’t have sex outside of marriage, and don’t have sex with someone of your own sex. Although this list may have seemed relevant at the time, our society is changing so some things and beliefs need to start changing with the time. People have temptations because of Adam and Eve, who were tricked into eating fruit from the forbidden tree. Fullam’s theological focus on the do’s and don’ts teach me that the list of don’ts have such great value that could keep us out of harm’s way. If I focused on part of the list, I believe I could better my life. Theologically, I should not stop talking and asking about sex because that would be a “spiritual error”. Fullam compares this to Christians deciding not to talk about sin. It is nearly impossible to avoid sin in this day and age. Everywhere we turn, we are susceptible to sin, such as lying, even if its small lies, or even something as big as taking someone life. I also need to work on my current relationship with my boyfriend of 3 years. Keeping such strong sexual integrity and intimacy is extremely hard at times since it is a long distance relationship. We rarely see each other and when we do, we are stuck to the hip. I need to work on our intimacy, not just sexual but also emotional. Building my relationship up would be good for my life because it is one less stressful thing I need to worry about. Building my intimacy in my relationship with my boyfriend could lead to a longer, stronger relationship and I could learn more about him. I also believe that sexuality can also lead to a longer and more emotional relationship. According to Lebacqz in her article, Appropriate Vulnerability, relationships cannot function properly without partners showing vulnerability because to be vulnerable means you need to be strong and brave. Having the skills of being strong and brave can help me live my life to its fullest because then I wouldn’t be scared of things that harm me emotionally. If I choose to be brave through tough emotional pain, I can lessen the stress I put on myself to be perfect for those around me, and to please everyone when the only person I should be pleasing is myself. I believe that the theological interpretation of Catholic traditions involving sexuality is stated as everyone lives their lives sexually, whether they are married, single, or even religious. I believe that everyone needs to remain open to the idea of growth and change as sexual people and that every relationship has a role to play among sexual people. I believe that being sexual isn’t being bad as long as there is respect and mutual consent between both parties. I can understand how Catholics believe that being sexual is a sin and to inflict sexual pleasures to yourself is also a sin, but I also understand and believe that being sexual is completely healthy. To me, being sexual means that you are comfortable with yourself and with the person you’re having relations with, because you are choosing you reveal a vulnerable part of yourself. For me to be able to come to the point in my life of choosing to be vulnerable, I must work on loving myself physically and mentally. I admit that I have conformed to society’s views and norms of how women are suppose to look and behave, but I need to break out of this shell to be able to remain open to the idea of growth and vulnerability. In our world, most people decide to live their lives very practically. Miss Representation talks about how women are seen as something to lust after. Women and young girls choose to live up to unrealistic ideals because of the way society presents them. This platform of information tends to treat them badly by exploiting their bodies as their worth, and because of that, it makes women want to change the ways they look. 65% of women and girls have eating disorders and 53% of 13-year-old girls say they are unhappy with their bodies. When those girls reach the age of 17, 78% are still unhappy with their bodies. Social media really influence people and display women as sexual objects. In all honesty, I’ve done so many different things to change the way I look because I wanted to fit societies norms for women. I ate less, worked out too much, and even bought a waist trainer. Society sees women as people who take care of kids and clean, and men as the ones who do all the heavy lifting and working. According to Farley’s Feminism article, she explains how “feminism represents a position, a belief, a perspective, or a movement that is opposed to discrimination on the basis of gender”. In my opinion, feminism isn’t a group of people against men. It’s a group of strong independent women who want to be treated just as equally as men. To be able to get to the point in my life where I can be treated equally and not seen as a sexual object, I need to reflect on the events in my life that paved the way for men to objectify women, such as the things I post on social media and the way I act. I also believe in certain Christian beliefs like “don’t have sex outside of marriage”, meaning do not cheat. Ethically, we need to be more open-minded to changing our lives and the way we choose to live it but keeping in mind that we need to be respectful to others who believe in the things we argue against. The list of don’t have certain ideas that can be used to lead us to a better life which involve respecting yourself and your loved ones. In Cronin’s The Courage to Date, has different levels of intimacy that we could build up to. In building up intimacy, you need to learn to be vulnerable. Being vulnerable in dating involves asking someone out on a date because you may set yourself up for possible rejection. Besides being vulnerable when asking someone, you also need to learn and be comfortable with being vulnerability during the date. Vulnerability also involves mutual respect. An example of this is not doing something the other person doesn’t want you to do, mutual consent. We should not assume that we know what the other person wants, even if we have been dating them for a while and are used to regular activities on a daily basis. My specific challenge is to be able to be vulnerable in a healthy way while still being respectful to myself and others.